This year has flown by, and we have had a big year at the Bixler household. We had a beautiful baby girl named Harper whose nursery is here , and we have tried to figure out how our schedules were going to work with this new addition. Let me be clear in my naivety of raising a child that I haven’t even changed a diaper before Harper. Being an only child with no experience being around children, I had no idea how selfless and organized you had to be. I wanted a baby around our second year of marriage and became pregnant the week we started trying which threw us for a loop. I panicked and stopped working because I “was going to be the stay-at-home mom I never had”. My goal was to stay at home and be super mom.
I realized that I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom and applaud the women that can do it. Landon supported whatever decision I made so I really had to make the decision on my own to start working again and figure out what made me happy. I felt guilty when I went anywhere without her or even when she was in the other rom with her dad. I also felt resentful because I needed the break away, and it was neither her nor Landon’s fault. I simply was not allowing myself to relax without guilt. I had a small retail job that kept me working two nights a week . The socialization, shopping, and getting paid for it really helped me not feel so isolated and less guilty.| | | Next → |